Alt.

2012-02-01T21:04:00.000-08:00

Keep a water bottle with you at all times and drink from it often. Water should always be your drink of choice. To kick things up every once in a while, try adding lemon, lime, cucumber, or a few berries to liven up the flavor without adding significant calories.
Look at exercise as a pleasure and a privilege, not a burden or chore. Think positively about the changes regular exercise will produce. Rather than obsessing about your next meal, get excited about your next workout!
Eat well-balanced meals and remember that excess calories, even if they’re from food that’s fat free and high in protein, will turn to excess weight. No matter what the latest fad diet says, extra calories equal extra weight!
Limit caffeine and exposure to even secondhand smoke.
Focus on short-term fitness goals with an emphasis on completing daily exercise.
Keep a daily log of what you’re actually eating. This includes every time you grab a handful of chips here or eat the crust of your kid’s sandwich there, and ALL of your snacking.
Enjoy an occasional (once a week) “unhealthy” treat, but never an unhealthy week or unhealthy vacation.
Enjoy contributing to the health of others by having a partner or friends to exercise with, as well as recruiting others who want to feel better and have more energy. Have a neighbor who’s sitting on the porch every morning when you walk by? Ask him or her to join you on your walk!
Avoid monotony by taking up new forms of exercising, or using things that keep you motivated and inspired, like new shoes or great music.
Subscribe to fitness magazines to keep focused on health as an overall way of life.
Invest in the right tools—good shoes, a portable MP3 player or iPod^®, fitness equipment, a new series of tapes, etc.
Make it your goal to do some form of exercise 6 or 7 days a week. If some days you exercise once in the morning and once in the evening, even better! If you’re eating right, exercise will fuel your energy level!
Don’t compare your body to others’. Instead, work to be your personal best.
If your diet is unbalanced, take daily vitamin and mineral supplements for total health.
Work to take your exercise to new levels of intensity.
Create an exercise schedule the day before instead of leaving it to chance or waiting to “find” the time. If our last three Presidents of the United States can make time to work out every day, you can make time too!
Move beyond the boundaries of weight loss and into total fitness. Measure success by the way your clothes fit, not some number on a scale.
Stick with eating plans you can maintain indefinitely. Remember that no matter how hard you’re working out, if you’re consuming too many calories, you’ll never see the muscles that lie beneath layers of fatty tissue.
Get adequate amounts of sleep, but remember that people who exercise regularly fall asleep faster and sleep more soundly.
Limit alcohol intake to special occasions.

Found this on the net. Pretty good, eyy?

2012-01-25T19:16:00.000-08:00

I'm not the most fit, or competitive amongst people I know. Nor am I the most athletic or healthiest there is. I may be a bit on the heavy side and I'm a bit 'lembik' I guess. I'm not even 100% healthy. But it kind of doesn't bother me much like some other people who are so concern about flabs and fats. I admit, I have a muffin top, cellulites, stretch marks, chicken wings, jiggly thighs etc but I don't bash on myself or degrade myself at every moment. I think it's normal. Some people may not have it, some people have it worse. I just think it's what you deem good and what you want is important.

I want to be toned and healthy. Fit and strong. I know it's gonna be a while for me to reach my UGW but it's worth the wait and effort. I don't want to grow old with diabetes or heart diseases. I'm scared. I don't want to suffer in the future because of what I neglected in the past. I joined the gym in May 2010. Back then it was because my friend and I were going to Bali so I wanted to look good. After that, my gym routine was on/off mainly because I stayed so far in Shah Alam. But I'm on my break now. I might be staying around KL after this and no more going back and forth to Shah Alam. Living at home allows me to eat better and move around better.

So for the past week, I've been eating in better portions, eating better meals and doing small workouts at home and of course, gym. At the moment, I've lost 1kg and I fit better into my clothes. I like how light I feel rather than feeling lazy and heavy before. I'm planning to lose another 2kg before March cause it'll be my cousin's reception and I don't want to be called 'fat' anymore. I also wanna look and feel better before I start my practical training because I'll be meeting people and moving around a lot. I don't wanna feel fatigue halfway through the job.

I have realistic weight goals because I don't wanna bend myself towards pressure. I don't want to be disappointed as well. Not to mention relapse and binge like what I've been doing my entire life. I'm almost 23 and I know myself pretty well to know how I operate. So, leggo! Go for gold!

Simple self-instructions:

1. 15sec stretches for each limb

2. Drink LOADS of water at least a litre a day

3. Hit the gym at least 3 times a week

4. 50 calve raises a day

5. The occasional squats, crunches, planks, leg raises and jumping jacks

6. More fruits and veges

7. Stop before you're full when eating

8. Never deprive yourself of what you want to eat (otherwise, you'll binge)

9. Avoid junkfood (obviously)

10. Turn a deaf ear to people whom degrade your efforts

Remember, even if you're doing little workouts or find difficulty in the kitchen, you are MUCH BETTER than those lazy couch potatoes, no matter if they're fat or skinny. Bear in mind that you're doing something with your lifestyle, unlike them. Feel happy that you're doing something to change your life.

2012-01-09T08:15:00.000-08:00

I'm almost, ALMOST finishing up my last bits of reports for my last class of Degree! I'll be 23 in a few weeks. To finish Degree with flying colours, making my parents proud and simply making my boyfriend realize that he has an awesome girlfriend is such a great way to end my Degree studies and start with my practical training. That's IF I'm lucky enough to pass all my papers. Somehow, most of us have this huge feeling that a 'repeat', is not impossible. Whatever it is, I'm just gad that this semester is almost over. Thank God.

2012-01-03T07:59:00.000-08:00

3rd day of 2012 and I still haven't fix my bad habit of procrastinating. It may not be a serious matter but when time passes, it's causes me damage. Time is of the essence. 'Demi masa, manusia itu sentiasa dalam kerugian.' I need to rephrase this over and over again to permanently tattoo it in my head. Because why do later when you can get it done now, right? Changing altogether may be difficult but it doesn't mean that trying slowly to accomplish it doesn't matter. Always remember that the little thing is gonna cause a huge impact in the long run. In the spirit of anti-procratinating, I'm gonna clean little bits and pieces in my room. Like, right now.

2012-01-03T04:01:00.000-08:00

2012 - A year of goals and ambitions

Last year, throughout the end of 2011, I finally stopped cursing. I abolished myself from swearing and cursing and I feel good. I think more about God and hoping that one day I'll change for the better. It's not easy finding someone that you can talk to about wanting to change, about doing good things just for the sake of doing it without wanting anything in return and to develop a more conducive environment to encourage changes for the better. I prefer trusting strangers rather than friends. Some friends tend to pretend to be all ears and telling you things you wanna hear. Some may even judge you, doubting you along the way. Strangers value you by first impressions and are more direct since they don't have personal relations with you. So yeah, my changes are my own. Bit by bit. If you can't see it, too bad. Judge me, I don't really care.

2011-11-29T18:01:00.001-08:00

I got so much love
For you darlin' and I,
I wanna let you know how I feel

And it's true that I love you
And it's true your the only one and I do,
I adore you
And it's true girl

You make me feel alive I've I've I've

You said - you said - you said
That I'm the only one
You said that I'm your number 1
Now your gone and I feel numb
Tell me where do we go wrong
You are my best friend and boyfriend
Now it's seems like you're my worst friend
I gotta do soul searching
Without you I'm a whole different person
I ain't acting like I used to
I don't feel loved like I used to
It was your love I was used to
Why do I had to lo-lo-lo-lose
Your love your love your love
Your love is what it was
That have me feeling {bust}
{You are my true love}

2011-11-28T20:34:00.000-08:00

Semester 5 is not interesting, at all. It's exhaustive, rushed and dull. Not something you wanna go through in your senior year, ey? I've been through a lot but mostly, I feel numb. I haven't been having a lot of feelings lately. It's scaring me. I wanna feel something and not be unnecessarily anxious all the time. I've lost myself throughout the journey. I can't go back and pick up the pieces. All I can do is move forward and build myself up. I guess it's the only thing I can do now. Now I know how Chuck Bass felt.

2011-11-28T20:33:00.000-08:00

I swear, meeting Farah Khan was the highlight of the night!

2011-08-26T20:18:00.000-07:00

My new angel wings platforms inspired by Vivienne Westwood

2011-08-26T20:15:00.001-07:00

So I've been working on a new project with my cousin which is Alt. by Anbreen (a blog shop where I sell all my post-loved clothes) and guess what, Alhamdulillah, it was a hit! I didn't know that there's a lot of girls out there who wanted to purchase things from me. I was overwhelmed. I genuinely, truly was. I only have Allah to thank for and my friends whom redirected them awesome buyers to me. In this Ramadhan/Aidilfitri spirit, I hope Allah blesses everyone with calmness and prosperity this festive season. Learn to be grateful and always remember Allah. Have a great celebration everyone! Lovin' the love and support y'all have given :)

2011-08-20T07:04:00.000-07:00

Been thinking about the afterlife, a lot. Changes needs to be taken.

2011-08-19T23:09:00.000-07:00

2011-08-19T22:03:00.000-07:00

Remember the part where I mentioned I wanna eat well, exercise regularly, take better care of my health this Ramadhan? DID NOT HAPPEN AT ALL! Instead of losing weight like a lot of normal people do, my body reacts the exact opposite. I gained a kg or so. A bit depressing but thinking back about it, I don't really mind. Ramadhan is the only month where my mum will be in the kitchen every single day. So what could be better than me, hanging around at home, stuffing my face with my mum's dishes? I love home. Home is the only place where I wanna be. I'm growing up and sooner or later, I'm not gonna have much time at home let alone have time for my family. This is the time to be there for them. I spare every minute of free time I have being with my family. Yes, as of by now, people should know that I am very attached to my family. I am not ashamed to say this because other than your family, could you honestly say that someone else has provided as much need and love for you like they have? NO. So I dare say this, before you go stomping around, being an ungrateful brat, look around and see what's really yours and what your family has given. No family is perfect. It's just something that everyone has to deal with. But I say it's worth it.

I put my family first before friends and that's one of the main reasons why it's easy for me to say no to invitations. Sorry.

2011-08-12T09:50:00.000-07:00

Some of my favorite parts of my room

2011-08-12T09:40:00.000-07:00

Best thing about Ramadhan 2011:

a) I get to sit with my family, every single day

b) Mak cooks the best dishes

c) I've only been to 2 tarawih before. This year, Alhamdulillah, banyak kali :)

d) Time goes by really fast. Ergo, buka cepat

e) Buka at home means free to wear boxers and large, comfy shirts

f) Sembahyang Maghrib berjemaah

g) Solat 5 waktu, Alhamdulillah tak pernah lepas (except for the time I went out for buka with Azim and the other time I overslept till Maghrib).

Downside: I've gained weight and I think I'm the only person capable of doing so.

2011-08-12T09:31:00.000-07:00

If I wasn't lazy, I would:

1. Get myself a notebook, and call it 'Dreams and Ideas'

2. Work my butt off at the gym and at home

3. Brush up my third language skill and writing

4. Finish up my Rakan Muda Award Programme

5. Survey websites and blogs about the eco and fashion

6. Finish up my piano lessons

7. Help my brother with his studies and with his room

8. Set up a style blog and finish up my style scrapbook

9. Help Mak with her business

10. Catch up with friends, every day, every week.

Too bad I'm too lazy to even drive. There's no such thing as impossible. Only lazy, like moi :)

2011-08-12T08:49:00.000-07:00

People my age are out there, making money, thinking about the future, chasing their dreams. Young paper chasers, as you call it. Even if they're not making money, they've got high ambitions. Ambitions that they'd like to watch come true. Me, as I'm writing this, it took me 2 hours to actually figure out what I want. And it hits me, I'm not even sure what it is. I know what I love, but I'm not sure if it's gonna pay the bills. 4 months of vacay and all I did was lazying around while I know many of my peers are working their butt off to make money. I respect that. Wish I had the same determination.

But I don't. Nobody's gonna give me 4 months of nothing to do anymore. Life starts this coming semester where the typical break I'm gonna get later on is a 1 month holiday. I'm making full use of this 4 months with traveling and just being who I am; a slob. I'm taking things easy. No rush. I've always thought I was the kind of person who'd get up and make things happen. Fast, efficient, now, now, now. Nuhh. Those qualities only applies if I'm managing something critical. Right now, I'm gonna run things at my own pace, my own way. I'm gonna enjoy the time that I'm given without responsibilities, commitments and promises. You make use of your time filling it with productivity. I'm gonna fill it by being stupid and lazy. It's a teenage dream, ain't it?

I'm too young to be paying the bills. It'd come soon enough.

2011-08-12T08:34:00.000-07:00

Feeling sexy to the tunes of Bassment Syndicate

2011-08-09T09:55:00.000-07:00

Hello sweethearts! Frockaholic, The CocoCloset, CuteBites Shop, and Bisou Bisou will be participating in SOOQ Bazaar this 13th of August at Rasta TTDI from 12pm to 10pm. Do drop by this awesome event if you happen to be free on that day. Lots of lovely items will be out. Mark your calendar just to make sure that you won't miss it ♥

One of my good friend, Diana Ibrahim, owner of Frockaholic will be at this event with her own booth of amazing clothes and accessories. You girls should stop by and grab some stuff for this coming Raya! Come and say 'Hi' to this lovely owner and who knows, if I don't have any plans this coming weekend, I'd come and swing by. For those who recognize me, don't forget to say Hello! :)

2011-08-09T09:47:00.000-07:00

I bet by now everyone has heard about one of our Malaysian being beaten up and robbed during the London riot that is going on now. I can't help but wonder about the victim's pain knowing their son who's far away from home, helpless, alone is dealing with this calamity. I don't dare watch the video of him that was recorded. Shame on the person who just stood there and recorded the incident instead of running, seeking for help. What kind of person does that? So nowadays, entertainment trumps security. Is that it? Umat Islam, during this Ramadhan, do not only pray for yourselves in your prayers but also for our brothers and sisters of Islam. May Allah protect us Muslims from harm here and in the afterlife. Amin.

2011-08-07T09:53:00.000-07:00

Why are people so persistent what everything I say, is about them? Crazy much?

2011-08-07T09:49:00.000-07:00

Wanna take a walk with me?

2011-08-07T09:19:00.000-07:00

I noticed that a lot of people will say that they live to make other people happy. That they think about other's happiness instead of their own. I also hear a lot about how hurt these people get because the people that they're pleasing don't understand them. They're upset and mad because they are tired of making others happy while people don't spare a second to think about what might make them happy. Do you really think that is how this world works? Putting others before you makes you unselfish? Grow up. No matter how nice people think you are, you can't expect them to show you gratitude all the time. Asking somebody to repay the kindness that you've shown them makes you the selfish one. Rethink back all the bad deeds you've done before you go blaming karma for people acting all mean to you. Nobody's an angel, darling. Everyone in this world seems to think that they put others above themselves because they would rather have others happy. But if you don't do it sincerely, better you don't do it at all. If you plan to cry and get upset that you don't get the treatment you want, suck it up. Life is a mess. It's our job to clean it up. Everyone's feeling the same thing. Every second, every day. We're not aliens. Stop thinking that you're that special, dude, please.

2011-08-04T09:19:00.000-07:00

Have you ever felt the need to run away so that you know how much that you're worth to someone? To feel the need to disappear so that someone notices your absence. When someone says that they need you and miss you, you know that you mean something to someone. Even if it's not a lot, at least someone notices our absence. What hurts is when you're a part of something then suddenly, you don't seem to matter anymore. Being in a room full of people that you know but yet, you feel invincible as if your presence does not matter. It's scary wondering if everything that you knew was just a lie. Something that you thought you knew but had it misunderstood. Thinking that you're special when you're not, at all. Loving and being scared of somebody are two different feelings. Sometimes a person just needs to be thought of, to matter and to know that they are being appreciated without strings attached. Don't let someone go just because you forgot. You might lose them for good.

2011-08-03T23:02:00.000-07:00

Oracular Spectacular-s

2011-08-03T00:45:00.000-07:00

- I wonder who even reads all my crappy writings -

2011-08-03T00:37:00.000-07:00

Barefaced with new hair

Had my long awaited hair wash earlier today. A good head rub seems to be the trick to wash all my worries away. Not to mention getting me to sleep the entire time. Been to the same hairdresser since I was 16. Sometimes major hair problems occur but there's nothing that can't be fixed (and also the fact the my hair grows super fast makes it easy to cover up mistakes). After asking her to blow my hair into curls, it'd usually be in really nice tight curls. Knowing my hair, it'd gradually get straight again after a few hours. 45 minutes - an hour after the blow is my favorite because my hair gets beautifully wavy. Couple of hours later, bye-bye nice hair and hello old sleek straight hair. Oh well, we can't always get what we want, right?

2011-08-02T09:15:00.000-07:00

I'd stay here and be happy. All the damn time.

2011-08-02T09:10:00.000-07:00

I'd run away if I had the chance.

2011-08-02T08:56:00.000-07:00

There are times in life when you want more. To feel more than what you're feeling now. Satisfaction is the one feeling in life that is completely absurd. The satisfaction to be loved, wanted and successful. Knowing that what you feel sometimes doesn't even matter to others. They're striving for their own satisfaction as well without considering others. It is then when we feel as if we're living in a fish bowl. People would stop and stare but they don't get what we're feeling while we could just see their ugly faces plastered on this beautiful earth, angry at the fact that we should be out there feeling and appreciating what they take for granted. As special as we think we are, some may not even see how amazing our individuality is till they've lost us. To keep us sane, we should remember that we're not the only ones feeling the way that we're feeling now. Someone out there can relate. It's just that we don't know who or where they are. It's okay to feel alone. It's okay to be alone. At least, that's the only time where we don't have to put up with bullshit all the time, ey?

2011-08-02T07:37:00.000-07:00

I do. I really, really do wanna set up a style blog where I post up my own outfits, sell clothes online, randomly asking stylish people whether if I could take a photo of them and post it up, write opinions on my take about certain styles. You know, those kinds of things. Problem is, it's all talk. No action taken, yet. Dear God, please give me the strength and determination to do this. I love this. I really do. Give me the will to control what I want and make it happen. Please. Law of attraction doesn't work on me. So I really do need the determination and power to get what I want, done. Could someone please lend me some of these, please? I don't want to be lazy. Story of my life. *sigh*

I don't walk the talk. Gosh. That's embarrassing.

2011-08-01T10:39:00.000-07:00

Wireless Festival 2011 @ Hyde Park, London

I somehow like this photo of me.

I like where I was and how comfortably I was wearing.

2011-08-01T10:28:00.000-07:00

So here's what I've been thinking today. After I graduate in a years time, of course I'd like to work. Though I feel like I wanna continue on studying like taking a short course in fashion. There aren't fashion short-courses here in Kuala Lumpur so I might have to go abroad. The only thing is, I don't want to do it alone. It'd be nice if I had a friend along to enroll with me. But it's just a thing that I've been thinking about. Nothing serious. I wish I had the determination to get something done and achieve it. I'm not much of a go-getter but I don't let things slip by me that easily too. I used to think that I was one worked up bitch but it seems that I am nothing more than average. I'm not that hard-working nor am I THAT lazy as well. I like it easy. There's nothing wrong with easy. As long as I'm on the correct path, than I say, lead on (I sound so uninteresting, don't I?).

*First day of fasting today and Alhamdulillah I got through it without any obstructions. I ate a little too much though. Just had another round of meal before bed. Very nasty habit. Not very good for my screwed up digestion system. Tomorrow's another day they say, right? We'll see.

2011-07-31T10:05:00.001-07:00

The beginning of a new health regime (let's hope this sticks):

1. Drink LOADS of water (at least 2 litres a day)

2. Eat vitamins and supplements

3. Avoid fizzy drinks and fast food

4. Hit the gym at least 3 times a week

5. Do not skip meals and binge eating

2011-07-31T09:56:00.000-07:00

I am not perfect. I am far from it. I know I don't look the part of a religious Muslim but Allah is always in my heart. I may not have a lot of knowledge, though I would like to gain more insight about Islam. I want to get close to Allah. I am trying. I don't dress appropriately, I may not even have the right attitude. But I try to resist all temptation and avoid God's fury. InsyaAllah, bit by bit, I will find my way towards the right path. Criticizing and mocking me won't help. Advice and guidance is what I seek for. No judgement needed.

2011-07-31T09:48:00.000-07:00

Ramadhan is the time to discover and know yourself as the absence of evil and demons will help you find clarity and peace. May Allah bless you during this holy month and may the goodness it brings, last you a lifetime. Amin.

Ya Allah, bukakanlah pintu hatiku untuk menerima cahaya keimanan dariMu. Sesungguhnya aku adalah hambaMu yang ingin mencari jalan kebenaran dan menjauhkan diri daripada kegelapan dunia. Terimalah segala doa dan ibadatku. Baikkanlah akhlak ku dan saudara Islamku. Sesungguhnya Kaulah Maha Esa. Amin.

2011-07-30T22:23:00.000-07:00

Decided to try on a new outfit today. Ones I bought in London and I think I came up with a good style that suits me. I've always wanted to own a black sheer blouse and I got mine from the H&M store in Covent Garden. It matched perfectly with my worn out brown silk shorts and black platform wedges. Decided to put on my Wayfarers to give it a more casual look. Though I don't think I'd be wearing my platforms around town though during the day. I'm not that kind of girl. I'm more of a flats, sneakers, boots type of lady.

2011-07-30T21:53:00.000-07:00

I miss the smell and feel of the sea on my skin.

The sand between my toes and the wind in my hair.

I'm not scared of the sun. I embrace the heat and warmth it brings,

2011-07-30T09:45:00.000-07:00

Vintage Lee denim shorts and Divided by H&M black platform wedges

Spent a lot in London and it truly is one of fashion's capital city. There are so many interesting and beautiful pieces there. I bought my fair share of clothes and accessories. Not as much as I would like, since it's pretty hard to get things when my parents aren't around, but I did manage. The above photo posted, I might say has got to be my favorite pieces of items that I bought. I find it really edgy and chic. I've always wanted a cut-off denim which I got for a really neat price at only £10 at the Portobello Market in Notting Hill. There were various brands and designs! I was gobsmacked. Wish I could grab some more. The black platform wedges to me, is a must have. Bought it at H&M in Liverpool which only costed £19.99! I didn't think much about it. Had to get it. There are other several pieces of items that are my favorites. Will post them up when I have the time. My stuff is all over the place. Haven't got the chance to sit down and sort em' up. Oh well.

2011-07-30T09:44:00.001-07:00

'Ignorance is a disaster in the making'

2011-07-30T08:57:00.000-07:00

I am very disappointed with Malaysian's mentality. Recent activities (and I was one of the witness) reported that Chelsea officials have filed a complaint against FAM about the verbal abuse of Yossi Benayoun. It was obvious that when every time he received the ball during the match, Malaysian fans were 'boo-ing' him all the way. I read the news online this evening, and I didn't know how I even started crying so suddenly. I cried because I was ashamed at what happened. Ashamed that Malaysians have no sense of being civilized.

Throughout my whole life, what I see with my own two eyes, Malaysians are really good at degrading others without realizing their own flaws. It saddens me that I too, am a Malaysian and I can't change others' attitude on this. Back to the case at hand, it is stated that Malaysia do not recognize Israel and we do not establish any diplomatic relations. I'm not going to go through details about our protests against them and other world conflicts. I'm just going to talk about the most well known sport that we Malaysians and not forgetting the world, have a very big interest on; football.

FIFA has launched a campaign on 'Say No to Racism'. Football fans should realize this if they are truly fanatics of the sport. So what happened during the Chelsea vs Malaysia game? Malaysians showing their racist side. 85,000 football fans at the stadium. What a disgrace. Memburukkan lagi nama baik Malaysia. Malaysian officials should know better about the 3rd class mentality that we Malaysians have. I can't explain to anybody about how disappointed and upset I am.

(1) The Malaysian government should have handled their affairs beforehand that could prevent all this from ever happening.

(2) Malaysians should upgrade their mentality and not degrade others of different races and religion when it comes to sports.

(3) Football, like music brings everybody together. Supporters hand in hand celebrating the life that the sport brings.

Think about it Malaysians. Know your boundaries. Islam mewajibkan kita mencari dan menimba ilmu. Gunakan ilmu itu ke arah kebaikan dan pembangunan diri. Respect others if you wish to be respected. Bila orang buat kita, marah. Kita buat orang, tak fikir ke? Tolong guna otak, Malaysians. Malaysia is a multiculturalism country. We as its citizens should already accept each others' differences in religion and culture. Malaysia was once a model for peace and harmony for the mixture of different races and religion. Not anymore. It has been tarnished and I am not surprised if issues related will rise in the near future.

*note the time during the Malaysia vs Singapore World Cup Qualifiers game. Penyokong Malaysia tidak reti hormat lagu negara pihak lawan. Bukan semua, tetapi majoriti. And majority rules, doesn't it?

2011-07-29T11:16:00.000-07:00

People my age spend their money on booze and drugs.

I'd rather spend it on good food and designer bags.

2011-07-29T11:10:00.000-07:00

Unfortunately, I don't have a plan. I wish I did, but I don't.

2011-07-29T10:11:00.000-07:00

My girl, Ili got this for me! My very own marshmallow stars welly (aka rain boots)!

Can't wait to get it when Arif comes back for a while from London.

2011-07-29T09:43:00.000-07:00

I know I haven't been a good sister. I yell, I curse, I shout and nag at my brother constantly that if I were him, I'd give me a good beating. But mostly it's because I just want him to be a better person. I don't him to have horrid habits and have it stick with him till he grows up. I want him to be a better person. We ain't got any others watching over us so it's me and him and him and me, till the end.

I know it's bad of me to do this, but I read his comments by his friends on his Facebook wall. In most of their conversation, his friends would make fun of his weight saying how fat he is and how he's gonna break something if he sits or rides on something. And do you know how my brother reacts to all this? He does nothing about it. He doesn't comment on it, defends himself, make up excuses for him or even get mad. He just takes it all in. His friends may be joking about what they were talking about but still, it doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt. As his sister, I feel like punching all his friends in the face but to set an example, I just need him to be patient. Be mature and just let them say whatever they want. It's not easy but I guess that's the only way to overcome it. I'm just worried about how this will effect my brother. I hope he'll be fine. Too much of a mockery can actually damage a kid's childhood. People are mean. There's no way in hell that anybody can deny that.

2011-07-29T09:18:00.000-07:00

It's been 13 days since I've been back. It feels so good to be back. Yes, I would love to go back to London but if I do, this time it'll be to relax and walk around slowly and see everything in detail. I hope I get to be there with Azim though. Am waiting on him.

Anyways, I've been on a little shopping spree (which I said I wouldn't do). Found a lot of stuff that I'm really happy to add into my wardrobe:

1. Black sun hat

2. Ray-Ban Wayfarers

3. Lace-less Oxfords

4. Wing-ed earrings and ring

5. M.A.C 'Foolish Me' blusher

6. White sheer sleeveless top

7. Oversized grey tee

8. Worn out brown silk shorts

9. Camel coloured shorts

10. Playsuit

Ordered my 'Angel Wings' platform wedges and Starry Rainboots that Ili had bought for me from London. Not sure if I should or should not order my NARS multiple bronzer. Decisions.

2011-07-29T09:04:00.000-07:00

I dare not say what I've bought during my trip to Europe. My luggage exceeded my baggage allowance but I was allowed an extra 10kg so I was safe from any unnecessary fees. Told Ili that I wasn't gonna do any buying when I got back to Kuala Lumpur but...I did. Can't help it. I am ashamed of my spending habits but I swear to God, I'm no shopaholic. I only buy things that I think is worth having. Plus, I am running out of places to stash my clothes and shoes. I need to keep checking on myself that I don't go overboard on my expenses. I like expensive items that's worth buying. I do as hell love things that are cheap which doesn't feel like a payment burden at all. It's impossible to save every single penny we have. It's gonna end up wasted over something that's unnecessary. Ada duit, belanja. Tak ada duet, aku diam saja lah. I only spend when I have the money. I don't beg or force or fuss or cry or plead when I don't. Not having money is not the end of the world. Ada rezeki, Alhamdulillah. Tak ada, cari. Allah Maha Pemurah.

2011-07-29T08:32:00.000-07:00

My future son is gonna have a mullet :)

2011-07-28T23:30:00.000-07:00

Can't believe Ramadhan is drawing near but I am not yet enthusiastic about it. It'll be here in two days time. I love Ramadhan because it makes me feel like I'm a better person because I will try to withdraw self from sins, have a better view of who I am, think clearly and most of all fasting is the most easiest ibadat I could ever do which is why I don't understand why people have such a hard time fasting. Alhamdulillah, I am not that kind of person. May God protect me from temptation. So this Ramadhan, Imma whip myself into shape as well. Losing 3kgs is a bonus. After my long absence from the gym and fitness training, I'm looking forward to the light exercises and trying to push myself into any healthy eating habits and any ways that could help me burn more calories. I'm looking forward to a healthier lifestyle, happier me and the calm and serenity vibe that Ramadhan brings us. Alhamdulillah, syukur nikmat.

2011-07-27T21:15:00.000-07:00

MIME is a trade show that allows higher learning institutions, musical instrument retailers and recording studios to display and promote their music courses, products and services all under one roof. Guests attending MIME can enroll in a variety of music classes, purchase quality musical instruments below market price, discover the newest innovations in musical products, recording technology as well as sound and lighting. On the whole, MIME provides a platform for music entrepreneurs to enhance and grow their businesses and for music educators to position their brands (institutions) in the industry.

MIME 2011: Sing Your Heart Out

Sing Your Heart Out!
Are you ready for the challenge?
Auditions are 30th July, 2pm to 7pm! at 51 Studios Kota Damansara.

CLICK HERE for registration forms.

2011-07-27T19:52:00.000-07:00

Il cambiamento è buono. Means that change is good. We go through changes everyday, whether we realize it or not. I can see a vast change in me and it started a few years back. Change also occurred when I met him. Not all changes may be good. Others may associate change with something that they are not fond of. Change is subjective to the person's perception. What is good or bad can't be decided by any other person but ourselves. Changes can occur when a mistake was made or someone is inspired. Either way, subtle or major changes occur whether we realize it or not. I think change is good because when everything is constant, that's when something is terribly wrong. Consistency in life won't teach us anything. Embrace change. You might like what you find in the end.

2011-07-27T10:17:00.000-07:00

I'm not the type to take in dramas, problems or trouble. I don't see the point. I try and avoid it in anyway that I can. I just don't have the time or power to deal with problems. Problems are unavoidable when necessary. Dealing with it is the only way that it will go away no matter how scary or annoying it is. But unnecessary problem seeking is just wasteful. You can't expect to be happy 24/7 as well. It all hangs in a balance. Weigh yourself and make sure that you're always in the middle of the two. When you get restless and depressed with problems at hand, just remember that sooner or later, it'll go away once you deal with it. When you're too happy, be watchful that danger may be lurking around. You can't honestly believe that the happiness you have is permanent, do you?

2011-07-27T09:53:00.000-07:00

I think I'm in love with this man. So cool, so modest. Simply an amazing man :)

You know who he is.

2011-07-27T09:45:00.001-07:00

I have the urge to achieve something by the end of this year. To see if I could actually do it. Pushing myself. But what? I don't know what I should be achieving for? Weight goal? Save up money? Learn something skillful? It all feels a little too cliche. I should be doing something at this age. While I'm still young. It's never too late to start something. The problem is, starting. Who knows, I might actually be awesome at something and I never even knew I could do it. Gotta start. That's the hard part though. Starting. Get what I mean?

2011-07-27T09:31:00.000-07:00

"We're tigers on our chest can you hear us roaring?

We're playing our best and we will be scoring!"

2011-07-27T00:10:00.000-07:00

When the time comes that I need money to buy something, no money. When I have it, I can't seem to figure out what to buy or I just can't find anything I like worth buying. It's a curse, really.

2011-07-25T22:38:00.000-07:00

Saw this bag in the window display a few months ago. When I got back from London, decided to enter the shop while Ayah was looking for shoes. The promoter greeted me so I asked how much was the bag because I've eyed it for so long. She said it was on 50% off! Can you believe it!? Half the price out the window! Told my dad I didn't want to buy any unnecessary bags anymore because then it'll rot and get spoiled. I decided to just purchase one expensive bag that'll last longer instead of dozens of cheap bags that'll spoil in less than a year. So after discount, the bag is RM4k. For a Versace bag, it's pretty affordable. But for my bank account, not so. I dare not ask my father for it because he has forked out a lot for my Europe trip. And if I did use the money in my bank account, I could say bye-bye to 80% of it. Sale is only until the end of the month. So where can I get the money?

P.S: Don't judge and call me spoilt. Everybody has their own level of affordability. To some, what I want can be purchased at a snap of a finger. To others, what I want could pay their house rent for half a year. You can't expect everybody to have the same priorities.

2011-07-25T10:16:00.000-07:00

HAPPY 22nd BIRTHDAY, MUHAMMAD AZIM MD. YAZED

Hope you had a great birthday and that you loved my double dose of surprise gifts :)

2011-07-25T10:10:00.000-07:00

I wanna matter

2011-07-25T10:00:00.000-07:00

I don't really find myself interesting. I don't have any special talents nor do I have anything extra on me (except for fats). There's one reason for it: Lazy. I can attend classes to sharpen skills eg. piano, guitar, sailing etc: lazy. I can go around, making new friends, attend gatherings or simply make a conversation with someone: lazy. I could work, earn my own cash, gain new experiences, not to mention again, making new friends: lazy. I could dress up, style myself, blog about fashion and learn new insights about styling and fashion, create a moodboard or finish up my scrapbook: lazy. I could go to the gym morning and evening, watch what I eat, attend new classes to strengthen myself and meet new people: lazy. I could go around Kuala Lumpur, find new meal spots, find out new roads or new interesting places or even go on a roadtrip: lazy. Can you imagine on how much opportunity and chances that I am missing out on here? I need someone who isn't afraid to kick my butt and help me make a move and open the doors that's laid out in front of me. Not to force, but to encourage. I need that person. Are you one of em'?

2011-07-25T07:37:00.000-07:00

I think I'm having a celebrity star streak. I met quite a lot of celebrities this July. It started during the Wireless Festival that I attended at Hyde Park. Of course I didn't 'meet' the celebrities heads on but I watched them perform live. Artists that I never thought I could witness perform. Of course I was in awe when I was in the presence of David Guetta, Far East Movement, Tinie Tempah and Mike Posner. We even saw Shah Rukh Khan in the midst of the crowd during the festival, which was kind of weird.

Barclaycard's Wireless Festival 2011 @ Hyde Park, London

David Guetta feat Fergie

Far East Movement

The Black Eyed Peas

Bruno Mars

Example

Tinie Tempah

Then a week later, I had the chance to see the Harry Potter characters live on the red carpet at Trafalgar Square. Waited 5 hours for the wristband that gives us access to enter the viewing area during the big premiere. The day of the event itself, we waited 6 hours in the cold+rain with only a tuna sandwich for lunch. But I swear it was worth it. To be amongst the people that played a role in our childhood movie was fantastic.

Harry Potter Finale @ Trafalgar Square, London

Tom Felton

Emma Watson

Daniel Radcliffe

J.K Rowling

Enough about the people I met in London. Back in Malaysia, I came back just in time to catch Chelsea FC play here in Kuala Lumpur. The first day of the training session, I made my own banner for Fernando Torres. I think anybody who knows me knows how obsessed I am of him. I brought my banner to the training event and hung it at the gate. I was pretty sure he saw it when he came out. I was just glad I saw him live on the field. I actually cried like a baby, wailing to my boyfriend that I really wanted to meet the man live and in person. So during game day, we waited at the hotel lobby for 6 hours for the whole squad to some out. It didn't feel like 6 hours at all. I just wanted to meet Torres. And then, there he was. The last one to come out of the elevator. He signed just a couple of autographs by the lift and then went straight on walking. His other teammates didn't stop at all which was weird because the fans that came days before said that Drogba, Terry and Lampard were amongst the friendliest and will always greet their fans and have photos taken together. During game day, they didn't. But Torres did! He didn't stop for photos with the fans obviously but he did came to me and signed an autograph! He lingered in front of me longer than he did before, signing autographs. I panicked. There he was, man of my dreams, my favorite football player just in front of my eyes. Star-strucked, I was. But I did manage to ask him if I could take a photo with him. He just smiled. The most charming smile ever. I just couldn't ask for anything better :)

Fernando Jose Torres Sanz @ One World Hotel, Bandar Utama

A couple of days after, I went out to KLCC. Was just heading to the top level to have lunch/dinner when I saw a group of people lining-up and lingering in Kinokuniya, the book store. Then I suddenly remembered, Nigel Barker was in town having a book promotion! I went to the area where he had his book signing and snapped a couple of photos of him. Went off to Madam Kwans to have my meal when I suddenly said, 'I'm gonna take a photo with him if the line isn't as long as it was just now'. And guess what, there were only 4-5 people that were queuing up! I bought my copy of his book and had it signed by him and not forgetting the photo op.

Nigel Barker @ Kinokuniya, KLCC

The next day, it was the day that the MTV Worldstage event was taking place. It was held at i-City, Shah Alam (a pretty awkward place to have a concert because our campus is near by). Wasn't really looking forward to it at first but when Neon Trees came on, they were amazing! Tyler's voice live was incredible! Not to mention the drummer. Gosh. Then came out 30 Seconds to Mars. I thought Neon Trees was good 30STM was even better! Their showmanship was fantastic! The way they interacted with the audience and performed was, gosh, I don't have words to describe it. If they were to come back to Malaysia again, I'd definitely be the first one in line to purchase their ticket. I really have to say thanks to Al for the free tickets. Could my life get any better?

Syasya and I at MTV Worldstage @ i-City, Shah Alam

30 Seconds to Mars

Jared Leto

Tyler Glenn

Neon Trees

2011-07-23T00:04:00.000-07:00

I can't stop thinking about him (this was the photo of him coming to me to sign an autograph)

2011-07-22T23:50:00.000-07:00

I don't really know how to use make-up but I do like things that gives my face a different feel to it. I don't mind going out of the house barefaced because I don't have ay irregularities on my face. On certain days or certain events, liquid eyeliner, blusher and stained lipbalm are the only items I use on my face. No foundations, eyeshadows, mascara, nope. I feel like a drag if I put too many stuff on. I like things that gives me a fresh feeling to it. Something that'll make my skin glow. I like neutral shades. I've got dark skin tone which I actually like (many Malaysians prefer 'white'). While I was in London, I tried on some NARS product and ultimately fell in love with it. I love the matte and sheer texture of it. Unfortunately, my credit card got declined when I tried to pay for it. Now I'm in Kuala Lumpur and tried to buy it online. Somehow the price increased tremendously. Plus, I don't remember the name of the items I wanted. Am trying hard to recall back because I don't wanna waste money on the wrong items. It isn't as cheap as MAC or Benefit you know (which are my two favorite make-up brands).

2011-07-22T22:36:00.000-07:00

Rumi Neely with the rabbit iPhone silicon

iPhone3G covers from Marc by Marc Jacobs

I need a new phone cover. The first iPhone cover I had was a Paul Frank cover which I can't use anymore because it has been signed by Ben from the band MGMT. Of course I had to save it. The second cover I have and am currently using is an iPhone cassette cover which my boyfriend bought for me to replace the previous one. It's my ultimate favorite cause it's different plus it gets a lot of attention from a lot of people. But somehow, I feel like I need a new one. Contemplating on which cover should I choose. Heading out a bit later tonight so I'll try and find one that suits me most. Wish me luck!

2011-07-22T21:33:00.000-07:00

It's been almost a week since I got back home from London and I'm still having a bad case of jetlag. It's not even funny anymore. I tried everything. I force myself to stay awake during the day so that I could sleep peacefully when night falls. No such luck. By 6-7pm, I don't feel sleepy anymore. Tired, yes. But I just can't shut my eyes no matter how badly I want to. I used to think that I'm the kind of person who can sleep anytime and anywhere because yes, I get sleepy very easily even while having a meal. But this is just getting ridiculous. I'm getting sick because of it. I know myself and when I don't get enough sleep, I get sick very, very easily. As of right now, I'm having slight headaches, runny nose, major sore throat, and body chills. I hate it. Should really remind myself to take my vitamin supplements before I get worse. Need to remind myself to get sleeping pills as well. Can't believe this is happening. Sigh.

2011-07-22T07:08:00.000-07:00

2011-07-22T06:44:00.000-07:00

Honestly, I've never had to earn my own money before. I'm no spoilt brat and I do have work experience but I've never had to worry about starving or having no place to go. There was a time when my mother and I had to collect shillings to eat when we came here to Kuala Lumpur. I was so young I couldn't remember much nor do I want to recollect any memories about those dark days. Instead of lingering on old memories, I move on. I don't speak about my childhood or about my problems to anyone. I don't see the point in doing so. I'm used to people saying that I don't have anything to worry about, but they don't know shit. And I don't want them to. I don't need people's pity. I don't need people to feel sorry for me. It's just a pathetic excuse for people to pay more attention to you. So yes. I choose to only tell and show people that I don't have problems to solve or troubles to worry about. As long as Allah and my family knows what we've been through and what we are, I say let's just be grateful, never take things for granted and always let the past remind us who we once were. No matter how high or low people look at us, to God, we are all the same. There will always be a reason why things happen. There will always be a way, to make things work.

2011-07-22T05:47:00.000-07:00

London Calling

Heavenly smile

2011-07-22T05:11:00.001-07:00

We saw him.

Everybody was screaming his name but he didn't stop.

I was scared he wouldn't come near me.

But he did.

I panicked.

Got a little too excited.

Handed him a photo of him on the field.

He signed it.

Signed just a few others too.

Handed to me the marker pen he was using a few times.

It's not even mine but he insisted.

I still didn't take it.

I tried and ask him,

'Torres, could I get a photo with you, please?'

He smiled the most insanely gorgeous smile I have ever seen.

I knew he couldn't because the team was late for the game.

He smiled.

Can you believe it?

He smiled at what I said to him.

The fact that he came over to me.

Best feeling ever!

My Nando experience, 21/7/2011, 6++pm

2011-07-22T04:51:00.000-07:00

No need to explain my obsession for Fernando Torres, but yes. I have love and faith for the man. His humble and shy personality just makes him that more perfect to my eyes. Mega superstar or not, he doesn't act like one at all. I can say this because I've met the man and he stood closer to me than anything I could've imagined. Yes, I did cry actual tears a day before I met him because I thought it would be impossible to get a chance to meet him. Come the day, I waited 6 hours for him at the hotel lobby dragging my boyfriend along (whom actually was willing to come and accompany me), risking being late to the stadium. I didn't care. I was so near to him that I didn't care what happened next. I guess dreams do come true if you get up and have faith in luck. I wish I could've told him I still had faith in his football skills and that I was not only interested in his looks, but also who he is and what he can do. I wish he knew how much I actually cared and not superficially. Who knows, if he knows that there's someone out there who cares, his scoring streak might come back again :)

2011-07-20T08:38:00.000-07:00

Barcelona was HOT! Both as in the weather's hot as well as the surroundings. The place was insanely beautiful. It has got to be one of my favorite countries. I loved the exotic feeling. One problem though: language barrier. Most of them don't even speak basic English. It was pretty difficult for us since the only syllables we knew were 'Si', 'Gracias', 'No comprendo', 'Buenos notes'. That's all. But we survived since we didn't have to communicate a lot. The beach was insanely full with hot and real people. I loved it. No one cared what everybody else looked like. The weather was blazing hot during the day. Come night fall, we were freezing our asses of at the beach. That taught us a lesson. We thanked God we weren't victims of pick pockets since the place was famous for it. We had our tricks. And I am now proud to say that I have taken a dip in the cool water of the Mediterranean Sea :)

2011-07-20T08:14:00.000-07:00

I was so sick on my long haul flight. Had a really bad cold and I couldn't sleep, which was worse. I arrived London Heathrow at 8.30pm. Spent 2 days in London before we departed for Paris and Barcelona. Now, I'm not gonna go into details about my trip so I'll let my photos do the talking. Plus, I'm not that good in telling stories. We went to most of the tourist attractions such as the Eiffel Tower, Champs-Elysees, Notre Dame Cathedral, Disneyland Resort Paris, Galleries Lafayette etc. Of course, most of the tube steps and streets smell of pee, but other than that, it really is a very historical beautiful place. Not to mention the people, they are stunning! Overall, my favorite place would have to be Champs-Elysees :)

2011-07-20T08:03:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm back. It's been a good couple of months. My annual Summer trip this year, as I mentioned previously, was a trip to London, France and Spain. I had the best time, EVER! Of course I did now, wouldn't I? I mean, what kind of person would say that they had a lousy time? Every day, every minute was filled with activities with things to do and places to see. When I had time to catch my breath, I just can't believe that I am blessed and lucky enough to be doing all this at a young age. Not everybody can say the same thing and I am very grateful with the chance that I was given. Yes, I am happy. There is no reason that I shouldn't be :)

2011-06-07T05:06:00.001-07:00

Remember I said that I may not be getting the chance to watch Fernando Torres live here in Malaysia when he comes for the Chelsea Asia Tour? Think again :)

Azim bought it for me using his first round of paycheck (which has already finished btw).

I GET TO SEE TORRES! THANK YOU HUN! MILLION RED KISSES FOR YOU :D

2011-06-06T22:44:00.000-07:00

Lovin' my new luggage tag :)

2011-06-06T22:37:00.000-07:00

Was figuring out what kind of bathing suit should I wear in Barcelona.

I've always loved my black one but I don't like the string bikini like the one I have

on in the photo. I feel like it's too revealing. Should get something that's a little covered up.

2011-06-06T22:21:00.000-07:00

Day 23 – 15 facts about you.

For the past 22 years of my life, I've only had 3 guys that I call 'boyfriend'. I like to flirt but it doesn't mean I want every single one of them to be my boyfriend. I'm the committed type but not obsessive.
I prefer to solve my problems with money and not confrontations. It seems to messy.
Family means everything to me. I'd trade money, friends and even my life for my family.
I like pretty, tough boys. Growl.
I like minimalistic effortless styles. Give me a statement piece of bag, dress or shoes and I'll match it with something plain.
I like being with people who's the opposite of me. My friends and I all have very different personalities.
I'm an obsesser. When I like something, I just need to have it or I won't shut up about it.
I don't know whether I'm smart or just plain lucky but I've never been the type to sit down and open a book and completely focus.
To study, I need something plugged into my ears.
I don't get pressured into something very easily but I do get intimidated sometimes.
Whatever my body type is, I'm not really scared to show off what I have. Wearing a bikini, shorts or whatever. If I wanna wear it, i wear it. I don't really mind about other people's opinions.
I think it's obvious that I'm pretty stubborn.
I'm not a very good listener but it doesn't mean I don't care.
I may look tough on the outside and probably a little on the inside, but I'm very fragile in some places I don't even know where.
I'm not really good at anything. Which is very unfortunate.

2011-06-02T22:57:00.000-07:00

I finally got around to cleaning my room! Like, FINALLY! It's not much, but it's more than enough for me. Ever since I switched rooms with my brother, I never really felt the chemistry vibe between me and this room. But since I've gotten around to some cleaning and rearranging my furniture, I like this room already. I like lifting pushing the furniture all by my damn self. I like doing all the hard labour. I'm lazy, but I like it. Though I miss my old room's spectacular view and the cool breeze, this room lets me stuff more of my junk cause somehow this room is longer in perimeter. All in all, say hello to my mini house :)

Ignore the luggage. I was trying to begin packing.

2011-06-02T19:05:00.001-07:00

Day 22 – A letter to someone who has hurt you recently

It's more off hurting and getting hurt back.

Dear XXX,

I don't know what is it I've done to make you hate me so much. You're repeating the same thing that you've done to the people before you and you're doing it to me. Is there no love in your heart? Do you not have the heart for forgiveness? Do you have any feelings at all? It was my fault that this happened. But I do not deserve they way that you're treating me now. I pray everyday that God would soften your heart towards me. Erase all the feelings of hatred and anger in you. Help you see the light because you have been living in darkness. You're strong and hard. You can't live on your own. There must be a reason people keep running away. Look at yourself and try to change for the better. Life is too short. Don' think that I don't love you because I do. I forever will love you even if you don't. Don't let your judgement get the best of you. Open yourself to others' well-being and you will be loved. I love you so much and it hurts seeing you like this. Forgive me.

2011-06-02T19:02:00.001-07:00

Day 21 – A photo of something that makes you happy.

Fernando Jose Torres Sanz. Need I say more? :)

2011-06-02T18:25:00.000-07:00

So there's a story circulating our youngsters nowadays about a girl who announced losing her virginity and was so damn proud of it. She's Malay, a MUSLIM and she's only 14. Yes, 14. I kid you not. It ain't my place to judge her because it's none of my business but as a fellow Malay and Muslim, I feel sorry for her and not to mention angry. What's wrong with kids nowadays? I am so astonished at what's happening with today's youth. Being so proud of doing something that's immoral, sinful and not to mention going against the law. Someone should really get that girl to a counseling session. She needs guidance.

Why is it that people are trying so hard to look and feel cool? Maybe the reason of trying to fit in or be accepted? Proving to other people that they have so many experiences under their belts? That they've tried everything that being young has to offer even if it jeopardizes their own being? Why? Why would someone do that? Perhaps loving one's self is not as easy as loving others.

My parents are both strict people and they don't tolerate with nonsense. But I was given my freedom at a very young age but I, have never misused their trust towards me. It's not worth it doing something under peer pressure. I tell my parents every single thing that I do and every where that I go. I can't lie because something bad always happens when I lie. It's a curse, really. So, with my own paranoia of maybe getting into trouble or accidents or bad events, I just tell my parents everything. At least if something bad does happen, I could always just call them first. Freedom is something that I have been given but when they say no, it means NO. They have their reason for that.

I think it's normal that youngsters wanna go out and come back late at night, especially people around my age. But it's not cool, coming back at 4-5am every single night, when you're living under your parents' roof. Have some respect. If you really have the need to come back late EVERY SINGLE FUCKIN' NIGHT, get your own place. Come up with your own income. But as long as you're eating the food off their table, sleeping in the bed they've given you, wearing the clothes they bought and the money in your pocket came from them, have respect for the place they call home. If you come back late once in a while, tell them where you're going before you head out. FYI, they do worry. At least mine does.

I am blessed with two open minded parents. I have the freedom to tell them what I'm doing and where I'm going. I'm still living under their roof and the money in my pocket is theirs. They give me what I want and provide me with what I need. I can pierce my belly, do a tattoo, drink, go clubbing or anything and they won't judge me as long as I don't give myself and my own family a bad name. But guess what, I don't do any of that stuff. I don't feel the need to do any of it because I can if I want to. I don't bow down to peer pressure very easily. I don't need to be 'bad' to be cool. I don't need to prove myself to be one of you just so that I could fit in. I can do what you can't do. I respect myself and my parents. Call me spoilt, daddy's girl, a goody-good, heck if I care. At least I'm not rotten, troubled and problematic like many of the youth out there today.

Home, love, family. I have all of it. You can't have everything you want but you can have respect for yourself and others. Don't compare yourself with others. You ain't gonna be happy that way. Accept what you have, be grateful. Have R-E-S-P-E-C-T!

2011-06-01T06:30:00.000-07:00

Day 20 – The meaning behind your blog name.

The meaning behind my blog name? Simple. I live in a reality and this blog is an alternate universe of it. It is somehow the other the part of me who wants to be heard, to let people know that I somehow am not what I seem to be. I have an alternate personality. One day this, one day that. It's hard to explain and that's why this area where I can read back all my thoughts and recall back what I've done, is my alternate universe. Ergo, Alt.

2011-05-31T23:06:00.000-07:00

Frankly speaking, the iPhone is so much more convenient than the iPad. For work and entertainment purposes, yes, the iPad definitely trumps it all. The iPad to me is just attractive because it seems so high tech. But if I were given a chance to spend my money on something, the iPad wouldn't make the list. Ironically, Ayah got an invitation to purchase the iPad2, without having to order beforehand. No waiting, just come and purchase. So he RSVPd to the event and a couple of days later, we attended it.

I don't think he even planned on buying it. I don't think he even really wants it or needs it. I think it just struck him on why is everybody else making such a huge hassle over this piece of device? So really, I think he just bought it because he knows that he can have what everybody else is dying to get their hands on. I just like it because then we have something to add in to our collection of Apple items. That's about it. I think it's actually great that he bought it for himself. He deserved it.

Luckily we RSVPd to the event because not even halfway through, they announced that the iPad2 is out of stock and the ones available are reserved for customers who RSVPd. Thank goodness. I asked Ayah to sit down while I queued. The event was held at Godiva, Pavilion. Yes, we were being served chicken pie, pizzas and chocolates and not forgetting Godiva's Chocolate Elixir and a few other drinks. I was full just by standing there because they keep coming over and offering me all the amazing food. After 45 minutes of queuing, we finally got ours.

Actually, we were lucky that later on we went up to epiCenter because everybody was there asking the staff to apply on the screen protector and some even bought covers for the iPad. I asked Ayah to buy the smart cover because I think it's practical. I know a Chinese dude there so he gave me an early number for the staff to help me with my applications. So now we have an iPhone, iMac, iPod and an iPad. iaminlove <3. None of these wouldn't have happened if it weren't for God. We are terribly blessed.

2011-05-31T20:31:00.000-07:00

The final day of May (which was yesterday), I had to undergo a series of unfortunate events which involved mainly financial issues. My phone bill reached over my credit limit, I'm running out of money to buy concert tickets, gotta change my return flight date to attend Liverpool's Asia Tour, my savings are so low that it's only enough to buy 2 bars of chocolate and to top it all off, I need too think about my expenses to Europe which I might add is 20x my monthly allowance (not that I even get allowances anyway).

I'm using all this money and it's not even mine. Do you understand the guilt that I have to face with? Everytime I look around, none of it is actually mine. NONE! I haven't earned anything and all around me are given to me by my own father's hard effort of generating income for this family. How can I repay all these back? As of right now, I'm not earning any money. I can't afford to fork out money that I made for myself. Even if I saved cash, the cash that's on me isn't even mine. I'm heading off to Europe in 13 days. I need my father to help me with my financial problems because if it is my problem, somehow it will also be his problem too. Can you see how heavy I'm lifting this weight of guilt.

I took matter into my own hand and this is what happened:

1. My phone bill reached nearly RM400 and I bet it had something to do with my internet usage. I had some extra money so I paid RM50 for my phone bill and later on my dad added another RM100 for it. After 2 hours, Maxis has yet unbarred my phone so I made a phone call to the center to sort things out. Finally I can use my phone but heck no am I gonna use my internet service until I change to a different network provider.

2. The Liverpool Asia Tour is held on the 15th (training) and 16th of July which is a day before my return flight date is (can you imagine the frustration?). So I tried calling my travel provider to change my flight date but unfortunately, I have to fork out RM447 for some purposes that I'm just too lazy to explain it here. Azim insisted that he pays for the change but I can't bare the fact that he's gonna use his hard earn money just for my stupid flight fare. I am definitely not gonna let him do that. Even if he does, he still needs to pay for my football match ticket. He's gonna waste his entire paycheck. I won't let that happen. Yes, it is devastating that I can't catch my favorite football team live but on the bright side, I get to spend more time with Ili in London.

3. As for my expenses for my travel to Europe, I'm gonna withhold myself from entering any stores or clothing stores. I need to tell myself that I can do my shopping in London instead. Even if it's not a lot, at least I'll be in a foreign country experiencing a new side of the world that I haven't been to yet.

I really need to find money. I'm 22 and I think it's about time that I start to save up and do something about my financial being. I know Ayah will always be there for me, but I myself know I can't depend on him for all my life. It's time to take action into my own hands. I thank Allah for all the great opportunities and luck that me and my family have been blessed with. Amin.

2011-05-30T16:47:00.000-07:00

Day 19 – A picture of something you want to do before you die

I am ashamed to say this but saya tak pernah khatam Quran. I feel embarrassed, ashamed and humiliated by saying this but I'm just trying to be honest. Nenek yang ajar mengaji sebelum ni and she passed away before I got the chance to recite the Quran. My parents aren't superstitiously religious but they've encouraged me so many times to finish it up. I know to some people, I might be too old to start learning again but God doesn't judge it's umat, so why should you? I am learning because of Allah. Learning in Allah's name. Reciting the most beautiful words that came from Allah. To those who have already surpassed this test, Alhamdulillah. Pray for me, that I would accomplish this, even once, before I die.

2011-05-30T08:00:00.001-07:00

At Thistle, Johor Bahru

2011-05-30T07:50:00.000-07:00

Day 18 – 5 things that irritate ME about opposite/same sex

Girls:

1. Obsessing too much on their exterior

2. Hating and bashing between each other

3. Too needy and clingy

4. So much feelings wrapped in a single body

5. Period pain

6. Easily judging others

7. Girly girls

8. Non-stop gossiping and backstabbing

9. Drama, drama, drama

10. Easily getting wounded, emotionally

Boys

1. Too laid back

2. Don't notice the small changes

3. Taking things for granted

4. Thinking that the only part of a women are their looks.

5. Hard to get emotionally attached

6. Lack focus

7. Stubborn and egoistic

8. Thinking that a women should be perfect

9. Gender bias

10. Expecting things to be easy

2011-05-30T07:24:00.000-07:00

I am always on Twitter. And right now, right this second, it is definitely getting pathetic. Haters bashing on others. The one that's hated is also bashing on the haters (which is very unprofessional, to say the least). Everybody might have disagreements and not liking what one is doing or saying. That's how people work. You can't expect everybody to satisfy you. You also can't expect everybody enjoying and liking what you do either. It's just a simple matter of knowing where, when and how to shut the fuck up. Voicing out opinions is everybody's human right. But everything has its limits. Consider what you say, before you say it. There is a reason why freedom of speech is limited. Giving this kind of freedom to the people may lead to two things: chaos and riot.

There is also, always a reason for something being hated. Reason one: Jealousy. People can't stand watching others be more than what they are. They can't stand watching the person succeed, doing what other people dream of doing, envying all the person's achievements and riches. Reason two: The person's attitude. When you know you're being hated tremendously, check yourself on what you've done wrong. You might've offended people in some ways that you haven't realized or you're just being painfully obnoxious. You can't please everybody, that's true. But you can try to avoid things that can hurt or offend people. As for the haters, you should check on yourself, before you go around hating somebody that did not even personally attack you.

If you could overcome the feeling of hatred and jealousy towards others or knowing how to shut the fuck up even if you hate something, you are one human being that's worth living in this messed up world. Withholding and controlling yourself isn't easy. So be proud.

2011-05-30T00:03:00.000-07:00

Plans, activities, jolly-good time, business. Sheesh. I can't wait to spend time with my girls

this holiday. Waiting for everybody to finish their courses and up, up here we go, GO!

2011-05-30T00:00:00.000-07:00

Boosting a lil' self-esteem in me

2011-05-29T22:36:00.000-07:00

Day 17 – How you hope your future will be like.

Working for a magazine. That's where I want to be in the near future. A magazine that's involved with lifestyle and fashion. Call me shallow, I don't care. I love it and I want to wake up every morning going to work for something that I love doing. I need to find a way on how to get there. It's not easy, obviously. I need to find chances and opportunities, establish rapport and networking, gain more experience and not forgetting maintaining my grades.

I'm not gonna let my future circle around my career only. I still wanna be in love. I still wanna feel what I feel now in years to come. Going through the rough patches together, enjoying the good life that we have. Yes, love is definitely on top of the list. My family is also part of my future. Imma provide for them like how they've provided for me. Imma repay every single sweat and cent that they've shed for me. I need my future to be bright, for their sake.

I'm just hoping to be a better person, a better umat. Imma constantly challenge myself, to achieve what I thought was impossible and live my own dreams. I don't know and knowing me I don't care of what you want out of your life, but all I want is to be happy and satisfied and not forgetting to prepare myself for the afterlife.

2011-05-29T22:22:00.000-07:00

Day 16 – Short term goals for this month and why

I like this task. Mainly because I need to set my goals. June is just a day away. So I guess, I'll set up my goals for June, the month of Summer, my favourite time of the year. Since I'm going away on holiday for half of June till mid July, I have 14 days here in Malaysia and the other remaining days, I will be in Europe. My short term goals would be:

1. Eat healthily - starting with less sugar and oil intake. Gotta stock up on more fiber because I have trouble with my digestion system (I am very paranoid when it comes to sickness or diseases. Even if I don't have em', I worry about it).

2. Exercise - I like the gym. I have no problem exercising. It's the eating part that I have a problem with. Imma hit the gym at least 4 times a week.

3. No more unnecessary buying - Imma save up anywhere I can. I can't afford to spend my money now and I need to exercise this practice so that I can save up for my near future.

4. More action, less talk - I tend to make plans and not go through with it. This time, Imma try my best to make all my plans work.

5. Pray 5 times a day - If I'm home, I do. The problem appears when I go out. I tend not to (-_-')

6. Fast before Ramadhan - I still have to replace a lot. Imma do it before I head off to Europe. I need to fast due to my Nazar too. Though part of me thinks I already have. But I'm having doubts. Better fast, just in case.

My short term goals are also constructed for me to be a better person in the future. I purposely made it this way because I can't change in a blink of an eye. It takes years to make amends of the trash and crappy things that you let your body and mind go through. This is to the future. Cheers.

2011-05-29T21:05:00.000-07:00

Day 15 – Something you don’t leave the house without.

Basic necessities: Fisheye camera, glasses, wallet, LipIce, lipbalm, iPod and iPhone

If you know me, my bag is filled with so many things. I don't like carrying bags that are light. I might as well don't bring anything. The content of my bag depends on where I am going. Sometimes there's a book, candies, small sewing kit, lotions, jacket, bottled water and so many more. I told you. It depends on the situation.

2011-05-26T16:57:00.000-07:00

Day 14 – A TV show you’re currently addicted to.

I don't really watch television but I do watch some TV series and right now I think I'm addicted to the sitcom, How I Met Your Mother. Why? I LOVE BARNEY! He's a total playah' that's for sure. He's also witty, 'Legen-dary' and damn bloody hilarious. I love the whole gang to be exact. Wonder if I'll be like that when I get older. Oh well. If you haven't watched HIMYM yet, STOP READING THIS BLOG AND GO WATCH!

P.S: The reason I bought my fisheye lomo camera is because of the show's opening credits. I love the pictures' effects!

2011-05-25T07:58:00.000-07:00

Day 13 – A picture of your favorite band or artist

Power house, great icon, awesome songs. Need I say more?

2011-05-24T23:52:00.000-07:00

I can be more than you think

2011-05-24T23:42:00.000-07:00

Day 12 – Your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is.

What a coincidence. Today's my 18th month-iversary with him. I haven't had a relationship like I have with him with anybody else. I never knew I could feel like this, to say the least. He changed me, as a person, a lot. I've learnt a lot of good values from him. I don't know why but he brings out a side of me that I never knew I could become. As mean and as bitchy as I can be, I'm still wondering how he could ever stick with me for this long. How could he put up and tolerate with my being because if I were him, I'd leave me a long time ago. He has a virtue of patience that I really admire. He caresses my flaws which I might add, are plenty. He doesn't give me excuses and he'll do anything he can, to be there for me and give me what I want and need. I guess it's love. I may be young and naive, but right now, forever is what it feels like. We may or not make it in the future. That's God's decision. Whatever comes, we both know that we've loved each other as much as we can. I'm looking forward to a brighter future together <3. Insyallah, Amin.

2011-05-24T23:04:00.000-07:00

Day 11 – A picture of your favorite memory

There's too many! Both with family AND friends.

Which one.... Which one.

Bali I guess? Great place, great friends, great time. Enough said :)

2011-05-24T21:53:00.000-07:00

I have a very severe spending habit that I am not proud of. I just gotta have what I see is nice and at the back of my mind, it'll keep chanting,"You may need it one day. Buy it. It won't hurt you." Guess what, my wallet's hurting because of it. Not mine precisely. My dad's. I'm 22 and I know I should be out looking for my own money. But even my dad said, I gotta finish up my studies first and then I can focus on making money. He's kinda right though. I'll be working for at least 30 years in my life. I won't get back my youth. I'm gonna enjoy being young and free.

But don't you dare think that every dime my dad gives me, I don't appreciate it. Don't you dare say that I ask money so easily and I can come up with it anytime. You don't know how hard and ashamed I am for asking. You don't know fuck about how hard it is to be going around knowing that it's not your money in your pocket. Hey shithead, I don't get allowances like you do. I need to ask for money everytime I need it. You don't know how heavy hearted I get, everytime I ask. All I want from you all right now, is to not judge how spoilt I am. Because you don't know fuck how hard it is to deal with all the judgements passing around and none of them have any idea on how you actually feel. So much for judging a book by it's cover, eyy?

Allah, you're the only one who understands what I am going through, inside and out. Grant me the courage to get through all the false accusations and strengthen me to stand up for the truth. All my good possessions and good luck, is from you. Alhamdulillah. Amin.

2011-05-23T22:51:00.000-07:00

My head and my heart is beating simultaneously because of what happened earlier. I just need distractions and something to cheer me up, so I've made a list (I have so many lists):

1. Make a list of 33 tunes for me and Ili's Summer Time Soundtrack

2. Book flight tickets for me and my girls (next year to Penang)

3. Meet up with some friends that I haven't met in a while

4. Never say never to an invitation

5. Pack up stuff for London next month

6. Conduct all activities that I have listed previously

7. Sleepover with my girls

8. (I have a sudden urge to go dancing, suddenly)

9. Catch up on my reading

10. AND FINISH UP CLEANING THIS ROOM!