20110523

Just found out that I lost the CLEO Stylista Competition that I entered last year. To be frank, I didn't expect that much anyway because my competitors were extremely talented and delightful (especially Michelle, who won by the way). I just never knew what it felt like to lose, you know? I didn't expect it would make me feel something. I'm not pissed nor devastated. I'm not even jealous or angry. I'm just sadly content? I don't know if that's even a feeling.

But I am very surprised and proud of myself that I even entered that competition anyways. I'm not a competitive person because I couldn't care less about what other people's level of winning are. I mostly only focus on myself, and where I am right now, I'm happy with it. People keep on saying that I have the potential to go far and do whatever I want and succeed in it but I just think that my potential should be given to someone else that has the 'go-getter' drive. I'm not one of em'. I'm a wasted potential. I will only go for something and do whatever it takes, when I really want it. Other than that, I just take whatever life throws at me. Even so, don't take me as a dumbass bimbo because you never know what I am actually capable of. When I want something, I get it. WHATEVER THE FUCK IT TAKES.

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