The final day of May (which was yesterday), I had to undergo a series of unfortunate events which involved mainly financial issues. My phone bill reached over my credit limit, I'm running out of money to buy concert tickets, gotta change my return flight date to attend Liverpool's Asia Tour, my savings are so low that it's only enough to buy 2 bars of chocolate and to top it all off, I need too think about my expenses to Europe which I might add is 20x my monthly allowance (not that I even get allowances anyway).
I'm using all this money and it's not even mine. Do you understand the guilt that I have to face with? Everytime I look around, none of it is actually mine. NONE! I haven't earned anything and all around me are given to me by my own father's hard effort of generating income for this family. How can I repay all these back? As of right now, I'm not earning any money. I can't afford to fork out money that I made for myself. Even if I saved cash, the cash that's on me isn't even mine. I'm heading off to Europe in 13 days. I need my father to help me with my financial problems because if it is my problem, somehow it will also be his problem too. Can you see how heavy I'm lifting this weight of guilt.
I took matter into my own hand and this is what happened:
1. My phone bill reached nearly RM400 and I bet it had something to do with my internet usage. I had some extra money so I paid RM50 for my phone bill and later on my dad added another RM100 for it. After 2 hours, Maxis has yet unbarred my phone so I made a phone call to the center to sort things out. Finally I can use my phone but heck no am I gonna use my internet service until I change to a different network provider.
2. The Liverpool Asia Tour is held on the 15th (training) and 16th of July which is a day before my return flight date is (can you imagine the frustration?). So I tried calling my travel provider to change my flight date but unfortunately, I have to fork out RM447 for some purposes that I'm just too lazy to explain it here. Azim insisted that he pays for the change but I can't bare the fact that he's gonna use his hard earn money just for my stupid flight fare. I am definitely not gonna let him do that. Even if he does, he still needs to pay for my football match ticket. He's gonna waste his entire paycheck. I won't let that happen. Yes, it is devastating that I can't catch my favorite football team live but on the bright side, I get to spend more time with Ili in London.
3. As for my expenses for my travel to Europe, I'm gonna withhold myself from entering any stores or clothing stores. I need to tell myself that I can do my shopping in London instead. Even if it's not a lot, at least I'll be in a foreign country experiencing a new side of the world that I haven't been to yet.
I really need to find money. I'm 22 and I think it's about time that I start to save up and do something about my financial being. I know Ayah will always be there for me, but I myself know I can't depend on him for all my life. It's time to take action into my own hands. I thank Allah for all the great opportunities and luck that me and my family have been blessed with. Amin.