I'm not happy. Not happy at all. I've lost the sense of being happy and joyful in me. I forgot how feeling excited feels. I can't recall the last time I was looking forward towards something. When I wake up in the morning, I feel empty. There's no burning fire of passion or a cool breeze of life in me anymore. I just lost myself. I don't want to be here. I can't stand straight without getting my ass kicked. It's amazing how I can survive the whole first month of 2011. I've lost the sense to feel and think. I can't even depend on myself anymore. If I can't do that, what can I do then?

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