20100628

Confession

21 is the beginning of age where a person is said is legal in every way and our consequences are our own burden. But why do I feel like I'm still 17? I still live with my parents, eat the food of their tables and take the money out of their pockets. This is not how being 21 is suppose to be ain't it?

What I wish to be is independent. Independent in a sense that I don't have to rely on my parents for money and security. I've done a lot of things on my own, I settle my own problems and I for one am not the type to whine and go crying to my mummy or daddy when something goes wrong.

I wanna feel like I have nothing to lean on but myself, I wanna know what it feels like providing for myself, I wanna stand up on my own two feet and achieve the dreams I've dreamt for years without anybody's help and I wanna come home knowing that I did everything on my own. Problem is: where do I start? What should I do? When do I take the leap?

I am forever grateful to God and my parents for giving me everything I've ever needed and want hence I am forever in debt. It's time for me to grow up now. Surviving on my own. That's not the part that scares me. The thing that scares me most is feeling helpless and fearfully scared that there'll be nobody for me to turn to. I need help but just to get me standing. I swear once I do, I'll never forget the bottom because that is where I came from.

All the money, the achievements and the luxury I had all this years definitely does not belong to me. It's time to return the favor and strive on my own and provide for you, my loved ones. This is what I call my ambition.

No comments: