20090918

Beautiful Lullaby

Raya is near. The light in my room just got burnt. Bengong. Luckily I've got my trusted lightstand to save the night. I guess this raya is no different from any previous rayas. I'm just looking forward towards gathering and meeting up with friends and families. Sounds cheesy? It is. But it's true. Raya may let bad things seem worse or good things seem great. It depends on how you look at it. But what if I see it as normal thing that seems average? Ok. I'm not making any sense. Crapola. A little side note if I may post it up here:

Since the last time I checked, I've been doing great. Better as days go by. Obstacles trains me to be stronger, problems makes me wiser and experiences leads me to maturity. Nothing is ever perfect. The word perfect should never have existed anyway. Nobody should ever strive for perfection. They should strive for survival. I'm surviving. But I'm not yet a survivor.

I've been facing shitloads of crap in every one of my classes. I've skipped class one too many times, I've put off studying when I know the questions makes me feel like an asshole, delayed my due assignments (once I think), didn't strive for the best in my own work and now, I can feel myself becoming lazier and lazier by the hour. I think part of it is because I get sick too often nowadays. The other part is just me being me. Lepas raya nak berubah. Ceywahh.

I think I deserve what I get. Sometimes I think I don't. Material wise, I think I've got what I needed. Religiously, I've done my part, but not completely. God, you know how hard I'm trying. Friends, I know I might not be there sometimes, and I feel really bad. I may piss you people sometimes but you still stick around. A thousand 'thank you's' will never be enough. Ayah, Mak, Zaheen, I am trying really hard to be the best I can be for you. I tell you everything and I have never hidden anything from you. I've been delivering what you wanted and I've aced every single one of my semester. That's what you wanted right? Do you think it's OK for me to like someone? A guy perhaps?

1 comment:

adlynndiyana. said...

oi, last sentence tu cannot go oi
nk lempang oi
plis oi :p