20090618

Miss & Don't

I don't appreciate people taking me for granted about money. I don't like it when I am being used. I don't like it when people think I have money when I absolutely have none. Even if I do, it's for me and not for you. I am living off of my parents and what makes you think that I am going to spend it all on you when I don't even have enough for me? Please. I am feeling guilty as it is and don't make this any worse because I am no better than you are.

Please don't come looking for me because I don't want you anymore. You disgust me with your attitude which by the way is not humane. Since I left you, I have been nothing but happier, stronger, smarter and better. Sorry that you're not. Relieved is what I felt when I was played on because I knew that I don't want to be with you anymore. I have never thought about you since then and I don't ever want to. Again, sorry that you don't feel this way. Go on. Move on. I have.

I am sick of being put down because I am not pretty. I am sick of being put down because I am big. I have never had a problem about my face or my body but when girls all around are comparing and commenting about each others figures, makes me feel that is there something wrong with me. I refuse to be let down by all this ridiculous perception but when it hits me time and time again, I have nothing else to feel but to break down. What I have learned is that people's perception and mind set can kill you. But I won't let it kill me.

I have my own theory of knowing people. I also experience an awkward vibe around people I don't really know so I avoid saying 'Hi' because I don't think they'll recognize me. I prefer keeping to myself than selling my name. I even have problems recognizing people's faces. So don't get me wrong and label me as unfriendly because I'm not. I just think that if I don't know people, than they won't know me.

Oh yes. Smile for me once more. I love it when you smile.

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