You know what I wish for? I wish I was a druggie or an alcoholic. I have certain issues that sometimes can only be solved with this manner. No, I don't have life-bothering issues but for me to achieve something I'm desiring, I'd like to resolve it with this. I have friends who does all this. I don't mind. Hell, I don't even care. They are still human when they're sober. Knowing their boundaries is what makes me OK with what they're doing. I'm not objecting nor am I encouraging them to do it. Either way, it still does make me a sinner. I'll never talk myself into doing all this so don't worry about it. My pride's too strong for me to overcome it with drugs and alcohol. But what I do need is my family's reassurance that they'll come together and be there for me. I need my friends' s big tolerance and care for my nonsense behaviour and I need my rockstar to just say HI.